So my grandmother died last night, and im not the least bit bothered by it. Others aren’t bothered because “i had said goodbye to her already when i saw her last, etc.”
That is NOT why i’m not bothered, i’m not bothered because…i hated her. She forced me to hate her. Now ya’ll might be like Tiffany, FORCED you? girl, can’t nobody force you to feel any particular way about them and let me tell you…you are so fucking wrong. Let’s go back down memory lane shall we?
Now it’s February of 2014, and i’m 21 years old going on 22 (birthday in march) and i call my grandma to ask her if me and only me can stay with her for a little while, since i was getting evicted from my apartment.Now i had a boyfriend but me knowing how strong my grandmother’s belief in Christianity is, i know having a boy try to live with her too is out of the question. Plus he didn’t want to move in with anyone else anyway. So i bring me and a small duffel bag and a school sized backpack to her house. All i have with me is clothes and important paperwork. THAT’S IT. Now i made that a point because it becomes an issue later.
Up until this situation, my grandmother was my driving force, i loved her so much, she was my surrogate mother despite her declining mental health. I would have tried to bring this woman the moon had she asked me to. Ok, i was DEVOTED to her (and her opinion).
Now i stayed at my grandmother’s place for almost a month. She TOLD ME to tell my boyfriend it was ok for him to spend 1 night, we did. We didn’t sleep together because my dumbass didn’t realize her couch was a rollout bed. So he slept on the floor. The next day he got up and LEFT. There was nothing wrong, we all had a long conversation about how much the world has changed and it was all very fun and enlightening. This is an important part of the story for you to remember.
Now one day, i left her house early to go apartment hunting and job searching. I was gone from 8am to 4pm. My cousin swung by as i was leaving, and then my aunt swung by hours later. So you remember the small duffel bag and backpack i brought with me? Well i kept my stuff together and in a small corner of the livingroom. Completely out of the way. (so i thought) My cousin, who is supposed to clean my grandmothers house (and never has, got paid by the state to do it and never did it) complained to her mother that she couldn’t mop the floor of my grandmother’s livingroom because my stuff was in the way. So when my aunt went up there to see her mother, she spouted all kinda fearful nonsense at my grandmother, and then left like she hadn’t just fucking opened pandora’s box.
So when i came back home at 4pm, my grandmother was in the livingroom. (which is weird because she retires to her room for the day by 3pm.) So i knew she was waiting for me. I asked her what was wrong and BOY did she tell me. Apparently I was going to get her in trouble with housing so i need to leave immediately, i’m not allowed to be there anymore, i won’t cost her her home because i lost mine(fair), then it fucking escalated, i need to go back to school and get a degree and do something.
I asked her what i did wrong, (i was crying but calm) and all i got in response was “YOU NEED TO LEAVE!” She didn’t care that i was trying to be a responsible adult, she didn’t care about anything. So as i was calling my boyfriend to tell him that i’m going back to where we lived (we were going to be evicted in march, it’s the end of february) she kept yelling “JUST LEAVE, DONT CALL ANYONE, JUST LEAVE!” Mind you we lived in another city that was 40 minutes away. So when i got him on the phone, she grabbed it from me and said “She’s coming back to you. I can’t have her here anymore.” I’m now sobbing. Because this woman was the only family i had left that i liked that liked me.
So i call my aunt, (same one who planted these ideas) and ask her for a ride home, which she of course gives me attitude for but she accepts and picks me up. In the car, i’m a sad mess and i say “I don’t know where she got the idea that i would get her in trouble with housing, i didn’t plan on staying longer than a month” and without missing a fucking beat she goes “Well you would have, if somebody would have reported you living there. She would lose her housing.” I’m like who would do that?? Her. She would & she’d get away with it because she worked for the department of social services for the elderly for over 20 years. Yeah. She’d risk her mother’s home JUST to spite me because her lazy daughter complained about having a problem with something she never intended to do. Uh huh. So you think it ends there NOPE. Now, my brother can attest to this because she did it to him in 2020.
My grandmother didn’t just end our relationship by kicking me out of her house, NO she took it further. She called my mother, my aunts, cousins, ANYBODY who called her on a daily basis and said “Tiffany’s boyfriend threatened me and told me to shut up and called me an old lady AND SHE LET HIM.”
That never fucking happened. EVER. My entire family shunned me. So when i became literally homeless, nobody would help me. I was living on the street. and nobody would help me based on a complete lie. So that killed our relationship. It broke my heart, i cried for days. Worst part nobody would even tell me why they wouldn’t help me until YEARS later and my mom told me what her mother said to everyone. This woman never apologized for it.
So now years after that entire thing shifted my entire relationship with anyone i share blood with, i can confidently say, i hated this woman and i’m not the least bit fucking sad that she’s gone. She’s a narcissistic manipulator that bred an entire family of narcissists and i wish she would have just kept her legs close and saved us all from this bullshit.
I don’t actually…want her to rest in peace. She made plenty of people miserable and feel horrible while she was here and why does she now deserve peace? No thank you. I can’t say Rest in peace. Rest in whatever problematic fucking manner of being dead that you see fits you. I am not happy you’re gone but i certainly don’t feel bad about it.
Hopefully you now understand why.
Velveteen Wabbitt 